Saturday, October 15, 2011

Different is Complicated


Jika mempertahankanmu hanya membuatmu sakit. Then, I’ll let you go…
I’ve told you that our relationship wouldn’t be endless, dear.
We have no mission, even we have a lot of vision.
Thenwhy we don’t create it?
Because we’re different.
Not all the differences can be united…
That’s not that point (I think). But, it’s your choice.
I appreciate it, I respect it, and I’ll go.
I just don’t want to hurt you, dear.
I love you even tough I know we can’t be united.
-no reply-


Porque somos 'diferentes', somos tan complicado.
And knowing you just read —without reply our last conversation, our last, that's so hahihuheho. Even you know that's our last.
I know, I've hurt you. Yes, I did. But, I don't mean to do that, dear…
Go follow your sun, because I'm not your sun…anymore.
Sweetest thief? Am I? Still your sweetest thief? I don't think so…

What do you mean with “And knowing you just read —without reply our last conversation, our last, that's so hahihuheho. Even you know that's our last.
Aren’t you who didn’t reply the last chat from me, right?
That’s not my fault if I born in different ‘ways’ with you.
But, does it a Gods fault to make a destiny that I must meet, love, and need you?
And I don’t blame you because we’re different, dear…
For God’s sake I’ve never regret for all of this, the way we meet and all.
This isn’t your fault, my fault, or Gods fault. Ok?
I’m sorry for my high expectation to have you that may force you.
I’m so sorry, dear…
No problemo…
That’s why, from the first time, I’ve told you
That I couldn’t united with you, in the real sense.
I understand of what you said to me, dear.
I just do not understand with my feelings…for you.
So do I…
Why did God create us differently if God only wants to be worshipped in one way?
Why did God brought us together when we finally separated?

And this story between you and me will never have an ending until the feelings in our hearts goes away by itself.
The question is…will the feeling was gone?

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Kita beda, itu sebabnya...


So, a suitable quote to describe you and I are…
“Why did God create us differently if God only wants to be worshipped in one way?”−cin(T)a The Movie

We have been known each other for so long. Iya, entah dari Friendster atau dari Msn. Entahlah, aku juga gak ngerti maksud dan arti dari kedekatan kita. Yang pasti…yang aku tau…hubungan ini gak akan pernah jelas. Iya, aku pernah bilang kan? Aku gak bisa berkomitmen sama kamu. Kita beda. Semua tau itu. Aku memang trauma menjalani hubungan seperti itu. Bukan karena lelakinya yang brengsek, tapi memutuskan hubungan dengan-masih-ada-perasaan-sayang itu sangat berat. Aku hanya tidak ingin itu terulang. Maaf…
Aku hargai semua hal kecil yang kamu lakukan. Aku pun berusaha untuk membalas apa yang telah kamu berikan kepadaku. Hanya saja, satu yang tak bisa aku balas, permintaanmu untuk berkomitmen denganku. Sudah aku bilang kan? Aku gak bisa, aku gak mau. Dan tolong jangan paksa aku…
Di saat seperti ini kadang beruntung menemukan pepatah bahwa ‘Cinta tak harus memiliki’, walau di sisi lain aku tidak setuju dengan pepatah itu. Yang aku tau, kalau kita cinta ya kita harus berusaha untuk memilikinya. Iya, mungkin paksaan kamu itu adalah usaha kamu untuk memiliki aku seutuhnya, tapi apa daya…kita berbeda.
Just so you know…if your belief is the same with me, maybe we’re now a couple. Namun, aku tak akan merubah hal yang satu itu. I put my ego to the bottom of list. Aku hanya (ingin) mengikuti garis yang Tuhan lukiskan. Tuhan memberikanmu izin masuk ke dalam hidupku mungkin untuk memberikanku pelajaran hidup, tentang apapun. Thank God to put him in my life, to teach me what a wonderful difference… Thanks for everything u gave to me, your love, your care, your presence…
Thank you, B…:)